"Same old me"
Apr. 09, 2013, 7:30 p.m.

The thing is this. I fell down the stairs and went boom boom boom. Now I am laid up with my leg. Don't know if it's broken or not but dang the pain is a problem. So I have become sedentary because if it and now I wonder if this "sitchyashun" can be used as a catalyst for something greater than my constant aching complaining. It's a thought. How do I turn this into something good. Oh there are lots of ideas banging around the tin walls of my brain causing a ruckus to distract me. In other words I know what I could do. What I should do. But in reality it comes down to what to I want to do? Do I want to pick up my poetry and focus on writing more? Do I want to pick up my paints and play with shapes and forms? Do I want to make a video? What do I want to do?

Questions. Questions. Questions. The main thing I know about myself is that the act of inquiry, the asking of question is really all I need to do and the decisions as a result one might make are not made by me. I am fine without knowing the answers. I just need to ask the questions. Meh. It's all too much work. Too much energy to be spent. I recognize that I am in my same consistent mood. Lazy. Complacent. So, I deal with the toothache in my leg and I am satisfied to simply ponder some creative spark rather than acting on it. It keeps me mediocre. Huzzah!